Iron Man, Part Duh (FILM REVIEW)
Every May, I turn off my thinking brain and go to the movies.
Why?
May marks the beginning of Hollywood’s summer season – action blockbuster time.
And I had high hopes for “Iron Man 2,” based on advance reviews.
With a musical score spotlighting AC DC and the Clash, and an all-star cast featuring Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Samuel L. Jackson, and – be still my heart – Scarlett Johansson. ‘Nuf said.
I know what you’re thinking. Anyone can see from the film’s trailer that “Iron Man 2” deploys every Hollywood industry stereotype and clichéd trope in the book: machismo on ‘roids, fast cars, stunts out the yinger, CGI overkill, curvaceous coffee-table babes, gratuitous cartoon violence, U.S. imperial dogma (read: the world is drop-dead dangerous and the best defense is a good offense) disguised as escapism.
The whole silly enchilada.
But who cares?
It’s summer time at the movies.
That said, I want U.S. imperial summer action fare – as mindless as it is – to be GOOD, damn it.
And, early on in the film, there were signs of promise.
Scarlett Johansson, for instance. Did I mention her already?
Garry Shandling, while not as eye-candy appealing as the actress I just mentioned above, does a passable job as the villain, too.
And, to be clear, Robert Downey Jr. carries the film as best as he can. Downey is an actor who does tongue-in-cheek camera hamming better than anyone in Hollywood. He plays bezillionaire playboy Tony “Iron Man” Stark, America’s #1 nuclear deterrent, with witty irony and a feeling, in this film, that his self-absorbed snarky narcissism is always on the verge of being swallowed by his own mortality. “I’ve successfully privatized world peace,” he humorously boasts in front of a Senate Armed Forces subcommittee, and then, a few moments later, confronts death-by-body suit full in the face. Favorite visual moment? Iron Man as the “Change Obama” icon on a poster that Stark hangs in his sumptuous bar. Sometimes Hollywood gets it right.
But alas, “Iron Man 2” is beset with casting and narrative problems, and they all materialize after the first fifteen minutes (which features an action scene at Monaco Grand Prix that is absolutely riveting).
Problem #1: Mickey Rourke. Magnetic in the film “Wrestler,” Rourke plays Ivan Vanko (a.k.a “Whiplash”), a Russian with metallic teeth and a grudge against Stark for causing the death of Vanko’s father. “If you can make God bleed,” Vanko says, “you can get people to cease to believe in him.” So far, so good. After a gripping initial confrontation between Whiplash and Iron Man at Monaco, though, the film relegates Vanko to little more than a computer programmer for – sigh – CGI-powered droid ‘bots, which are about as interesting as Stark love interest Pepper Potts’ (Gwyneth Paltrow) on-the-phone biz-yak convos in this film (though her verbal jousting with Stark is passably fun.) Why, in God’s good name, would you cast Mickey Rourke as potentially the coolest bad guy since Heath Ledger’s Joker, and then stick him in a white room in front of a laptop for the bulk of the movie? Nyet nyet nyet.
Problem #2: Don Cheadle is cast as Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes in the sequel. Big mistake. They should’ve stuck with Terrence Howard (See the original “Iron Man”), who is much less earnest and much more fun than Cheadle, and looks reasonably convincing in the Iron Man suit. Cheadle just looks plain silly, unlike Downey, who has figured out how to ham it up a bit. (Note to the casting department – replace Don Cheadle with Samuel L. Jackson – who plays Nick Fury in what is almost a cameo appearance) for the three-quel).
Problem #3: Scarlett Johansson. OK, so she’s a babe who speaks four languages in the film and wears a black jump suit as “Black Widow.” But she’s all business, to the point where she doesn’t even crack a hint of a smile the entire film. A shame. And, by the time she does bust out the black latex as Black Widow, it is only to flatten an entire room full of – brace yourself – middle-aged and balding security guards. Say what? Now, if Black Widow had gone up against Whiplash, with help from Iron Man…well, you get the idea. Another wasted set of narrative opportunities.
I really hope they give “Iron Man 2” director Justin Theroux the opportunity to direct a third “Iron Man” installment, so the man can redeem himself.
Sure, this film will drag in gajillions of dollars at the box office.
But for me, it will always remain “Iron Man, Part Duh.”
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